


This One Time, After Band Camp...

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Multi, Sex, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:23:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk/Jake/John 3way</p>
            </blockquote>





	This One Time, After Band Camp...

John’s been at Jake’s for close to an hour, fresh out of band camp, yammering nonstop since Dirk picked him up.  They’d planned this for a while- a month away from each other and then three solid days of hangout time.  So John didn’t mind when Dirk stayed with them, or said he wanted to stay the night.  He was a pretty cool guy, actually!  And as long as he and Jake didn’t start dry-humping each other in front of him, John figured he had no reason to complain.

“So, John.  Would you like to watch something?  We’ve all sorts of movies-“   Dirk snorts, and Jake rolls his eyes.  “Oh, don’t be crude.  I wouldn’t show him such a thing.”

“Uh, what?” 

“Nothing, doll.  So, what’ll it be?  Tomb Raider?”

“Pretty sure you’re the only human on the planet who likes that movie,” Dirk snorts.

“Oh, fine, then.  We could go for dinner.  I could pick up some Chinese?  Or Thai, if you’d rather.”

Dirk whispers something in Jake’s ear, too quiet for John to make out, and Jake smiles and kisses his cheek.

“Uh.”  Jake looks at John expectantly.  “Don’t go out of your way for me.”

“Jake does not ‘go out of his way.’  Dirk makes fingerquotes in the air.  “He probably had a taste for it anyways.”

“Are you trying to say something, darling?”

“Nothing at all, sugarlumpkins.”

“Dirk, if I ever hear that out of your mouth again, so help me.”  Jake licks his lips and Dirk smirks and wow this is suddenly really awkward and weird.

“Maybe I should go?  Pick up the food?  Or something else, whatever, uh, if you have errands-“

“You’re embarrassing him, babycakes.”

“Am I, John?”

“Uhhhh.”  He waits for an answer.  “I’m more embarrassed for you?” _Haha yeah good job with the words there._

“Don’t be, daftie.  We’re just as confident as can be about our rampant sexual appetites.”  He leans back into Dirk’s chest and Dirk wraps his arms around him.

John turns bright pink.  “Right, yeah, well.  Good for you!  Do you need a minute?  I could go to-“

Dirk snorts again.  “A minute?  Please.  Do you last a minute, John?”

“I- well, no, obviously not.  But it’s me, I mean- just- agh, nevermind.” 

“I don’t even know what you’re trying to get at.”  Jake makes a funny sound and John realizes that Dirk is running his hands up his shirt, jesus fuck how far are they going to take this?  Dirk keeps his eyes level on John’s.  “Well?”

“I mean, if it wasn’t me, it’d be quicker, right?”  He can’t take his eyes off the two of them, pressed against each other like that, knowing they’d probably be sweaty and shirtless by now if he wasn’t in the room.

“Not really.  Jake here is a little quick sometimes, but even he lasts five minutes when he’s keyed u- _ow._ ”

“Do _not_ go telling people the rate of my sexual stamina, dickfuck!  What’s wrong with you?”

“I think you’re missing the point, baby.”

“And what’s that?”

“That he’s a virgin and doesn’t want to be.”

Jake gasps, the dick.  “Really?  Blinkin’ heck, John!”

 “I didn’t even say that!”

“You didn’t have to,” Dirk purrs.

 “I- I’m gonna go.  Yeah, yeah I am, I’m gone, bye.”

“John, c’mon, we can show you the ropes.”  John stares at Dirk, there’s no way he heard that right.

“What?” Jake screeches.  Welp, guess he did.

“Shhh, baby, wouldn’t it be hot?  Think about it.”  Jake blinks and, after a moment, starts to grin.  Oh god, John’s so screwed (literally? What even is this situation??). “There we go.  John, come here.”  Dirk pats a pillow next to him.

John feels like he probably shouldn’t, that he should flat-out deny the offer and leave for a few hours, until Dirk and Jake have fucked this out of each other’s system.  But he doesn’t.  He crosses the room and sits next to them.

The corner of Dirk’s lip quirks up slightly _why was that so friggin hot_ and without another word, he lays a palm on Jake’s shoulder and turns him around.  And they start kissing.  Not two feet away from John.  Jake slips his hands to Dirk’s waist and holds him as he wraps his arms around him, and they press their lips together for a moment before pulling back barely an inch.  Then they do it again, longer.  And again.  Then Jake parts his lips just barely, and Dirk sucks his upper lip into his mouth and they start really… wow.  Okay. 

John can hear their breaths over the soft sound of mouths smacking together, can see a slick shine of spit on Jake’s skin as Dirk’s tongue drags gently across the inside of Jake’s upper lip.  Should he be doing something?  Didn’t they want him to do something? 

Dirk pulls away (and Jake makes this little noise _oh god fucking dammit_ ) and takes John’s wrist in his hand.  Jake whispers in his ear something about tasting “just scrummy,” which sounds gross but apparently means good, because Dirk lets go of John for a moment to kiss Jake again, open-mouthed, and run his tongue over his.  Jake gasps and moans into his mouth.  Then, he lets go and grins at John.

 “You like that?” His voice is thick and his cheeks are flushed slightly.

John seems to have lost his voice entirely.  It’s gone.  It fled to a land where boners grow on trees and jizzrain makes the assflowers bloom.  He’s surprised he has the brainpower to nod. 

“So cute.  Wanna try?”  Dirk asks, crawling forward smoothly until he’s laying beside John, running his palm over his chest.  It makes John’s breath catch in his throat and he stares at Dirk- scarred skin, stubble, glowing eyes behind those dumbass glasses… and pale pink lips all swollen and wet from biting.  He doesn’t think and then he’s on him, cluelessly mimicking what he just watched.  

Dirk pulls back not ten seconds later, and Jake starts cackling behind them.  “Good God, John, what _was_ that?”  Oh god this is like a bad dream.  John just walked on a podium in front of his entire graduating class and realized he was naked and they were all laughing at his dick and-

 “Baby, don’t be so hard on him.  Do you have any idea how shitty our first kiss was?”  Jake rolls his eyes.  “You left teeth marks on my fucking chin.” Dirk turns his attention back to John, his eyes going soft, and he strokes his cheek softly with his thumb.   “Follow my lead, okay?  You’re fine, you’ll catch on.”

His voice is so gentle, such a contrast to the sharp amusement he was just speaking to Jake with, and it’s perfect.   John feels his heart practically leap into his throat. Why did he like being talked to like that?   “Yeah, okay.”  He bites his lip.

Dirk leans forward and presses his lips against John’s, and John lets him lead.  He can feel his lips, really feel them now.  They’re soft, _wow_.  John never thought a guy could be so soft.  Not that he thought about that before. Nope.  Weird. 

This time is different.  They establish a slow, burning rhythm, and when Dirk starts opening his mouth just the tiniest bit to lick at him, John gasps.  It’s weird, definitely not “yummy” or whatever Jake said… but hot.  Literally and figuratively hot as fuck.

Jake (finally) seems to think so too.  He breathes out “Oh, wow,” the second their tongues touch, then John hears him start to undo his pants.  “Touch him, John.  Like this.” John jolts when he feels breath on his neck- when did Jake get behind him?  But before he can freak out properly, Jake’s running his fingers down John’s sides, _oh fuck_ he had no idea he was so sensitive there.  Dirk hasn’t stopped kissing him, but John feels him smirk into it just as his hand slips down to pull his shirt up and then holy shit Jake’s fingers are touching his bare skin, and it’s a hundred times more intense, ten separate fingertips running down his chest and stomach and the spare tire around his abs _oh god._  There’s breath in his ear and it makes his skin shiver and he can’t believe this is actually _happening_ to _him._ “Touch him.”

John touches Dirk.  His skin is warm, almost velvety.  Maybe that’s just sex logic, but it doesn’t make a difference to John. And wow, is Dirk responsive.  He gasps when John’s middle finger brushes over one of his nipples, takes the air right out of John’s mouth.

 “Good boy, fantastic,” Jake whispers and starts to lick at his ear.  John’s movements falter and he moans out loud for the first time.  He can barely believe how he sounds.  “Great goodness, he sings so sweetly.  Doesn’t he, darling?”  Dirk makes a little affirmative sound and Jake’s hands start trailing lower, start unbuckling John’s belt.  _Holy shit._   “John, might I give you a wristy?”

“Dude.” Dirk chortles.

John fights the urge to comment on Jake's weird friggin slang because he really, really likes the sound of 'getting a wristy' right now. “Mmhm,” he says, and pulls Dirk back to kiss him again.

“My, my, my.  Quite the strumpet, aren’t we, Egbert?”  His nails dig in to John’s hips and John can’t hold back a loud moan.  “Didn’t expect you to take to it so very quickly.”  He drags his nails down until he reaches the band of John’s boxers, then dips under it and fingers along his trail.  “You and Dirk are quite a sight to see.  Wonder how you’d look with your cock buried in deep in his arse?”  John arches back and gasps involuntarily at the thought, leaning back into Jake’s thin, toned chest.  “You dirty, dirty boy.  Think you can go again?”  He starts rubbing his palm over John’s dick, slowly rubbing the base and gripping his balls, and that little touch is enough to make John’s eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Hmm?”  It’s impossible to think.

“Can you get it up again, after?”

“Ah, uh, yeah?”  He’s pretty sure he’s normal in that area.  He’d looked up averages online when he was in high school, read up on everything he could find about the male sex to make himself feel better about not getting any.  That’s what he’d been telling himself, at least.  Now, he wasn’t so sure it was purely scientific.

 Jake starts kissing his neck and _Jesus balls holy fuck_ how did he ever exist outside of this moment? 

Dirk moves lower, starting in on his chest just as Jake starts really jerking him off.  He bites and sucks at a nipple for a few moments, and then lowers himself to John’s stomach and-

“Oh, _fuck-_ Dirk, are you-“ 

“Keep moaning like that.”  John groans and Jake starts sucking at his neck and Dirk hooks his fingers around John’s boxers and tugs them down.  John always thought he’d be embarrassed the first time he was naked around someone, but he doesn’t care.  He just wants that mouth on him, wants to keep leaning into Jake and feeling his random, reverent wandering touches- away from his cock, now, up and down his sides, making him gasp and arch back into him.  “Dirk sucks fantastic cock.”

“Oh, shit.”

“You’ll see.  It’s like he was born for it.”  Jake’s legs wrap around John’s waist and he runs his foot down Dirk’s back.  Dirk makes a soft little sound and starts a long, sucking kiss at the dark hair of his trail, moving lower gradually.  John bites his lip and groans as Dirk moves to the right _just_ a moment too soon, and starts nipping at the insides of his legs and licking at his balls with the soft, smart tongue.  He’s going to lose his mind.  He’s gonna blow before Dirk even starts, he can’t…

“Please, Dirk, I can’t…”

Dirk kisses his thigh one last time before pulling back and looking at John heatedly.  “You’re so fucking hot.” And he leans over and-

_Oh._

John gasps harshly at the first contact, the broad swathes Dirk lays at the base, and then.  John feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest when Dirk starts smoothly running that silky tongue up, swelling the muscle with the pulse of John’s heart that he must be feeling in the vein.  John cries his name in a voice he didn’t know he had.

Dirk repeats that, slowly building up the pressure and pleasure beyond anything John hard thought possible, and Jake starts pinching his nipples between his fingers.  Was that supposed to feel good on a guy?  There was no way it was supposed to be _that_ good. 

“Oh, John, you’re so scrumptious like this.  I’d love to eat you, lick you where you’ve never touched.”

“You what?”

“You’re not ready.  Safety first, dear boy, can’t be getting tetanus!”  Okay, ew.  “But I’ll help you.  It’s not hard to clean down there, once you know what you’re do-“

Dirk pulls off with an obscene slurp, ignoring John’s small whine. “Not sexy, baby.”

Jake bites into John’s neck hard, and his eyes roll back.  “Yes he is, look at him.”  He grabs Dirk’s hair and pushes him back on John’s dick, not waiting for a response, then licks back up to his ear and keeps going.   “We can do that next.  You’ll love it.  Dirk can suck you while I fuck you with my tongue-“ John feels Jake tremble, and then he to grind his erection against his back, _fuck_.  “How you feeling, doll?” Jake whispers into his ear hotly.

“Unnnh.”

“Good.  You’ll give us a good nut, won’t you?  Please, share it with us.  We’d so love if you did, John.”  Dirk starts swirling his tongue around the head, and the sensation is indescribably good.

“ _Ah,_ fuck, no shit.”  John winds his fingers through Dirk’s hair and pulls softly, and Jake chuckles against his ear. 

“Thank you.”

And Dirk takes him down. 

Everything is a fuzzy, lust-filled haze for a few minutes.  Every direction John moves, every jerk of his hips or arms or chest sends him closer into a warm, eager body focused on his pleasure.  Four hands running all over him, two mouths, two strong legs around his hips, one burning chest against his back. It’s too much after what feels like no time at all.  John tugs Dirk’s hair in warning.

“Gonna.  Yeah, fuck, please, I’m gonna-“

Dirk takes him deeper _oh god he wants to eat his spunk_ and John comes, arching his shoulders hard into Jake’s chest and moaning and jerking, and Dirk keeps bobbing his head until his jolts become tremors.

Dirk catches it all in his mouth, but John doesn’t feel him swallow.  He doesn’t even give it a second thought until Dirk pulls back and sits up, weirdly quiet, and leans towards Jake.  He rests his thumb on Jake’s chin and Jake opens his mouth and they-

Oh god, they’re.  With his.

“ _Fuuuuuck_.”  It’s so hot.  John wishes he could jerk off while it was right in front of him, while he can hear his come slicking against their tongues.  But he can’t move.  All he can do is watch as Dirk pushes Jake down and they start rutting against each other.  He doesn’t know who to pay more attention to.  Dirk definitely makes more noise, but Jake’s body moves in this way, like he’s figured out the formula for sensuality and now he’s working it to the letter. John’s star-struck as he watches them unzip their pants, and line themselves up and just. Start humping each other’s dicks.  Is that even a thing?  Or did they just make it up?

Even hotter is the sound they make when they come.  Dirk has this broken, high moan that gets caught in his throat, and Jake gasps and groans Dirk’s name a few thrusts later, digging his fingers into Dirk’s back so hard he leaves dark marks in his skin.

And then they make out, again.  John’s not sure how long, but they fall on top of each other afterwards and nuzzle into each other’s necks.  Dirk sighs contentedly and raises an eyebrow at John.

“Are you going to cuddle with us or, just sit over there like a loser?”  He lifts the corner of a blanket up as he pulls it over him and a sleepy, smiling Jake.  John doesn’t have to be asked twice.  “Show you more when we wake up, sleep tight.”  Dirk kisses John’s forehead and wraps a lazy arm around his waist.  This is it.  John’s in happy sexy heaven.  


End file.
